Monday, April 09, 2007

Just another Monday

Well It's been awhile since I posted.. Heck I almost forgot how to get in here to post......


Things I've discovered since last posting.....

1. I hate people that don't know how to drive... Anyone that has been to my house know's... That when you want to take a right onto HWY 94.. there is a 1/4 mile of road to use to merge into the traffic... FREAKING USE IT MORON'S... It's not there to look at....( oh I'm sorry, If you were looking the right way you would know this.. )

2. My summer is already taken.. If you want me around you better make arangements quick like...

3. I need to find a copy of window's.. Somehow I loaded up the wrong copy this last time.. Now it comes back as a genuine "fake" , "you can't use that" copy....

4. Cat's and toilet's both suck....

5. A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and
when the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest ones at the back
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much
the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills
brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


6. I'm Stuck in the Bathroom:

Ok Ponder on this one...
1. Hey how about McDonald's for lunch....
2. Ok Dear sounds good.. Haven't had that in over 12 hours....( so we got a kid )
3. Be right back ... Gotta go potty....
4. Open door
5. Open door to stall ( now this is where the fright starts ) thinking to myself " oh my, how many other dirty hands have been on this handle.. " ( should I open and then go wash up to pee...)
6. Nah just go pee.. you got to wash up afterwards anyway..
7. Ok..
8. I hope I don't get anything from the door ( to the stall ) handle...
9. Unzip, flip, and p....
10. Ah, time to wash up.....
11. Pull on sink knob ( knowing what the last person was doing right before pulling on sink knob ) ( I hope )
12. Squirt soap into hand, lather, rinse,repeat, lather, rinse, repeat.. ( oh I've been stuck in this circle before )
13. Yeah Clean hands... now... how the hell do I turn off the sink knob.. Knowing what the last person that turned it on was doing before....
14. Use elbow... ( See what I meant by the comment of step 11 )
15. Now hit the button to start the wind machine ( um hope the last person actually washed hands and not just hit the wind machine before walking out to make everyone around think that they had actually washed hands )..
16. Ok elbow again...
17. Damn it .. Door... now what....
18. See step 11. above....

7. My wife.... LOL love ya honey...No Really,,,, I do love ya...

8. Bill's garage is haunted... I mean that is the only explanation I can come up with for what made us do what we did Saturday night.... Oh my... You all are going to crack up....

9. Work - Ok .. Things are going good at work.. Get my review on Thursday 4-12-07, Chicago trip 15th- 21st.. Some new " responsibilities " getting ready to start.. Work is ok right now...

10. We're goin to Mexico...... And not one of you son's-of-bitches that I'm going with... included me in today's email..... Ha... Off with your head's....... ( I knew because the wifey left her email open, wasn't snooping but it opened up there ). Sorry dear....

TA Da....That's It...


Mike

3 comments:

Dave Morris said...

Cats DO suck.

As for the email, it's okay... I got included TWICE. How did TWO of my email addresses show up on the list and not ONE of yours??? WTF? So every time someone responds to the chain, it hits my box twice. I suppose whoever started the email chain (which, by the way, was your wife!!!) figured that since she was on it, you'd get the info. Ain't life funny??

Nichole said...

Youre such a goof! LoL

...at least you got invited to go to Mexico. *shrug*

Laurie said...

Have fun in Mexico? I'd skip the bathrooms there though. Just pee on the side of the road.