The Holidaze are upon us.....

Merry Christmas...
Yes I said Merry Christmas... It is my blog after all and I celebrate Christmas.. not Hanakuh, or Kwanza, or any other version of it that I might not be familiar with.... Christmas....

Reverse Blog Challenge......

Ok.. Here it is .. The start of the "Reverse Blog Challenge"....

Here's the Idea...

You can't blog on your own blog, but love commenting on other's... Well we are going to call that " Reverse Blogging " from now on.. Come on folks,.. Let's start a revelation.....Blog on someone else's blog..

Dave this will have to be great for your infamous blog searches.... LOL...


Anyways...

ME.

Chicago at it's best

Ok.. so we've been here since Sunday....I have come to the realization that St. Louis isn't so bad after all...

1. Room service case of domestic beer.... $ 128.00
2. Room Service bottle of Vodka ...... $ 80.00
3. Carton of cigarettes in Schaumburg $ 60.00
4. Traffic that is out of this world
5. Parking ( valet only at the first hotel ) $41.00 / a day

I'm so glad I didn't have to use any of the above services except the Valet Parking...It was mandatory..( good thing someone else is paying for it )

Anyways.. We've had fun so far... Diana has even been drinking beer and other things with me.... Oh yeah... New discovery last night... Sobe Rush and UV Blue tastes really close to a real Shrek.....

So far we have found a few bars/restaurants ( we're going to screw you if you want something to drink ) locations here that have either had Red Bull or UV Blue but not a combination of both... Well with the exception of the bar at the top of The Hancock Tower ( $15.00 ) a drink....

Oh well ... Life sucks...

Later,
Mike

Just another Monday

Well It's been awhile since I posted.. Heck I almost forgot how to get in here to post......


Things I've discovered since last posting.....

1. I hate people that don't know how to drive... Anyone that has been to my house know's... That when you want to take a right onto HWY 94.. there is a 1/4 mile of road to use to merge into the traffic... FREAKING USE IT MORON'S... It's not there to look at....( oh I'm sorry, If you were looking the right way you would know this.. )

2. My summer is already taken.. If you want me around you better make arangements quick like...

3. I need to find a copy of window's.. Somehow I loaded up the wrong copy this last time.. Now it comes back as a genuine "fake" , "you can't use that" copy....

4. Cat's and toilet's both suck....

5. A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and
when the herd is hunted, the slowest and weakest ones at the back
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much
the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills
brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


6. I'm Stuck in the Bathroom:

Ok Ponder on this one...
1. Hey how about McDonald's for lunch....
2. Ok Dear sounds good.. Haven't had that in over 12 hours....( so we got a kid )
3. Be right back ... Gotta go potty....
4. Open door
5. Open door to stall ( now this is where the fright starts ) thinking to myself " oh my, how many other dirty hands have been on this handle.. " ( should I open and then go wash up to pee...)
6. Nah just go pee.. you got to wash up afterwards anyway..
7. Ok..
8. I hope I don't get anything from the door ( to the stall ) handle...
9. Unzip, flip, and p....
10. Ah, time to wash up.....
11. Pull on sink knob ( knowing what the last person was doing right before pulling on sink knob ) ( I hope )
12. Squirt soap into hand, lather, rinse,repeat, lather, rinse, repeat.. ( oh I've been stuck in this circle before )
13. Yeah Clean hands... now... how the hell do I turn off the sink knob.. Knowing what the last person that turned it on was doing before....
14. Use elbow... ( See what I meant by the comment of step 11 )
15. Now hit the button to start the wind machine ( um hope the last person actually washed hands and not just hit the wind machine before walking out to make everyone around think that they had actually washed hands )..
16. Ok elbow again...
17. Damn it .. Door... now what....
18. See step 11. above....

7. My wife.... LOL love ya honey...No Really,,,, I do love ya...

8. Bill's garage is haunted... I mean that is the only explanation I can come up with for what made us do what we did Saturday night.... Oh my... You all are going to crack up....

9. Work - Ok .. Things are going good at work.. Get my review on Thursday 4-12-07, Chicago trip 15th- 21st.. Some new " responsibilities " getting ready to start.. Work is ok right now...

10. We're goin to Mexico...... And not one of you son's-of-bitches that I'm going with... included me in today's email..... Ha... Off with your head's....... ( I knew because the wifey left her email open, wasn't snooping but it opened up there ). Sorry dear....

TA Da....That's It...


Mike

Weekends are good........

Well... Let's see.....

Friday : Didn't have any kid responsibility so we went to dinner and then headed to The Doc's... Had a few drinks, spoke about some upcoming events... Had another drink ( yeah she was mad ) ... Then went home...

Saturday : Went 4-wheeling.. Met a group of people in Columbia that I didn't know.. However turned out to be a good time... Nice group of folks... Came home and was directed to the ( yes once again ) Doc's house... drank a few "Shrek's" patent pending ... and proceeded to win at the poker game...Woo hoo.. I'm $20.00 richer than I was yesterday.

Sunday : Went to Dave's ... Painted...( yeah the colors are good )... done in 3 hours.... Guess who's getting invited next time we paint... LOL..... Just kidding....WE GOT OUTSIDE YARD STUFF TO DO HERE>>>> LOL...

Anyways... the weekend went well.. I guess I can't complain...

Honey : ( gotta be a honey thing in here somewhere ) ... I LOVE YOU!!!!!.... Thanks for just being you... ( no rose petals around the bed ) but ... I love you still the same....

LLama's, Flamingo's, and Dave.....

Hey Dave Click Here

Short-Time Blogger Long Time No Posted

1. Sorry
2. How you liking the babes... ( I know you been checking them out )
3. Computer's suck ( don't buy a new one with vista )
4. Sorry you got sick on Sat. Dave.. It's usually me though..
5. Mikey... I wouldn't sit there for hours waiting on the window.. Use the complimentary drop-off service.. Hell make them come back and get you too...
6. The Dr. is obviously not in the bloghouse...
7. Valentine's Day is over .... Next subject please ( lol.. like I'm one to talk )
8. Chris.. way to go ( not ) tread lightly and hope all is good for July ... ( or June ) whichever comes first.
9. Em.. quit talking like your an english major.. Slangelish would be way more understandable.
10. Springs almost here... I can't wait... Babes, Bikini's ( yes I know I'll be in trouble for this one but hey ) , beer, and BBQ's... Oh and the Redneck Waterslide... what else could be better...

P.S. Karen and Paula- I didn't forget you, I just didn't have much to say ( well.... Karen - Don't you know anyone with tools and a truck.... ? Paula - no comments good or bad... keep up the good work... )

Look no Carlin this time... Moving up in the blogworld huh... Ok maybe not.. I'm not very original but... hey I'm still here......

So I really have nothing original, fun, or blasphemistic ( for you Em ) to say at this point.. I just thought I needed to post something new...


Oh yeah, did I mention Computer's suck... I got one new one that does no good with old programs, one old one that won't read the hard drive, and one relatively new one that can't figure out whether it's an XP Pro or XP Home machine... I got a lot of work to do... Wifey gonna kill me I don't get those pictures off her machine.....

Hey Dave ...Question... You say you installed speakers in the ceiling... for 5.1.... Did you in fact also add either a fiber optic or coaxial digital cable... to both your Sat. Receiver and DVD...? I'm hoping so.. cause if you didn't .. Your still listening to crappy old dobly pro-logic.... ( Well this is what someone told me once anyway ).....

Well I gues that's it for tonite..

No wait... there's more...

Doug - What the hell happened after you caught the shark.... ? You came home,posted, and then moved into never, never blogville...Come on I know you taught Billiam how to weld.. Thrill us...LOL


Chow,

Me.....

Since I IS!!!!!!!!

Well since I seem to be on a George Carlin run here.... Good catch there Mr. Anonymous....
I thought I would post another of his Glorious Life Realities.....


THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider This:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit,horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!


And to quote one of my favorite people...."Now ain't that some shit"

Think about this one for a while.....

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out of the home for being too healthy.
You spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you’re too young to work. So you go to High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.
As you get even younger -- pretty soon you become a kid again.
You go to elementary school, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
In a few years you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap Until finally. ..



You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

Good night and good ridence ( well at least for now )

Mike