Since I IS!!!!!!!!

Well since I seem to be on a George Carlin run here.... Good catch there Mr. Anonymous....
I thought I would post another of his Glorious Life Realities.....


THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider This:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit,horse shit, and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!


And to quote one of my favorite people...."Now ain't that some shit"

Think about this one for a while.....

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out of the home for being too healthy.
You spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you’re too young to work. So you go to High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.
As you get even younger -- pretty soon you become a kid again.
You go to elementary school, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
In a few years you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap Until finally. ..



You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

Good night and good ridence ( well at least for now )

Mike