Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Think about this one for a while.....

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out of the home for being too healthy.
You spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you’re too young to work. So you go to High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.
As you get even younger -- pretty soon you become a kid again.
You go to elementary school, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
In a few years you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap Until finally. ..

You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

Good night and good ridence ( well at least for now )



Dr. Mike said...

Ha.. I like the ending, but i'd rather get to about 21 and stay there!

Even better yet: Let me go back to 18 with my current knowledge!! Man, I think God keeps us dumb so we stay out of trouble.

"We Only Live Once..."

Violet said...

Very funny... I know I definitely don't want to get old... I mean, soon enough, I'll be as old as Dr. Mike or (gulp) Dave!!!

Just kidding, you guys! Sheesh! Everyone knows that you have the mentality of a twelve-year-old!

Dave Morris said...

I know I should feel insulted by what Violet just said, but I'm just too wise to let that shit get to me.

This is so true... life really sucks, when you think about it. It's all backwards.

Same could be said about marriage... it should begin by getting the hostilities out of the way, slowly ease into more and more sex, the newness begins to settle in, then it's sex every night, almost constant blow jobs, then you go to a bar, make out... then go your separate ways.

Dr. Mike said...

I know you haven't posted in awhile and that's okay...

I'm here for the "Babe A Day!"

Anonymous said...

This is a classic George Carlin routine that has been plagiarized.

I believe the original version goes like this:

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating... ...and you finish off as an orgasm.”